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I hate that I'm so shy. 

I hate that it takes me forever to make friends.

I hate that I'm always cutting myself off from people.

I hate that the only school that accepted me into their graduate program outright didn't offer me any funding and I can't afford to go.

I hate that I feel unwanted.

I hate that I feel like I can't catch a break.

I hate that I feel like a freak.

I hate commencements.
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Thank you for coming out to the show. You are all grand.  It is always a pleasure to see you and... Ariel, thanks for putting the show on, I thoroughly enjoyed Beatbox Guitar.  I hope you are having a rocking weekend.  I hope you are all having a rocking weekend.
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If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
I would want to be a very wealthy entrepreneur that is continually starting new businesses, with a particular penchant for revitalizing urban neighborhoods with mixed communities that include retail, food, housing for a range of incomes, community arts centers with galleries, artist studios, dance studios, theaters, gardens, recreation and education centers and programs,  all built green and self sustainable energy-wise.

Yeah and I'd teach belly dance on the side.

That would be my dream job.

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I had a dream last night that I was traveling across the county with a good girl friend and two very cool, very famous skater/musician men.  We were tight and having a good time. Then in the second half of my dream I threw a party and invited loads on people and nobody came, except my own really tight little circle.  I walked out of my building later in the night and I saw a bunch of people leaving, among them some of my friends that I had invited.  I confronted them, they had been at another party in the same building and didn't even stop by.  I was pissed and offended. 

I think this reflects on my both very positive and very negative experiences I had lately.  I've been around some very, very cool people who I'm starting to be friends with on one hand, through dance and through some of my other art classes, and I've also been around a few of my other classmates, who were being really unfair jerks to me yesterday (I felt very singled out) and in general they have been overall, with only a couple exceptions, irresponsible, unsupportive and incredibly self-centered this entire semester. 

We have a show that we are installing in less than a week.  Because of the type of work I do now I need to know my space in advance and I made this request to the class specifically asking for a little side room in the gallery that is usually darkened and used for projections (nobody is doing projections in this class).  They told me that I was being totally unreasonable, that I was trying to take up too much space and that it was too soon to tell what people were putting in the show to be abe to make this descision.  (We are supposed to be bringing our work over on wednesday!)  They were jerks about it too and nobody came to my defence at all.  So I relinquished the space I wanted and took another space.  However, the space I wanted was granted without question or complaint to another classmate of mine  exclusively.  She is the type of person that can't make a request without a constant apologetic phase of some sort coming out, she was saying maybe she wanted to do this thing that would use that room, but she wasn't sure and she was totally unprepared.  Where as I had already previously requested this space over a month ago and I had already made all the necessary preparations to use it.  Part of me thinks I shouldn't have compromised but it is very difficult when everybody is inexplicably against you.  I have no idea what I did to deserve this, but I have to say I'm going to school with several self-centered, rude, immature, irresponsible brats who seem to have it in for me.  And even the decent people in class didn't stick up for me.  I hope I become unreasonably rich, famous and influential in my field and that I forget these people even exist.  And if they come around or try to contact me, I'll just say, "Who are you? Please leave." 

Thank goodness I have some very cool friends.  They make up for all these kinds of boogers.
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Happy New Year!  May this be the beginnings of new things, of great art, a full life and great enjoyment.
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so I was eating a banana and suddenly had to go pee, so I head to the bathroom when that little voice in my head said "don't bring your banana in the bathroom" so I stopped and put my banana in the kitchen and then it struck me how funny I thought that phrase was

don't bring your banana in the bathroom

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but since I did:

Looks like I'm hanging out with Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and hitchcock73.
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i just voted!  Go Obama!
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I tried to email everybody I though might be interested, but if I missed on of you, I have two installations that will be up temporarily at MICA this week.  Here is the info:

Hello Friends, Artists and Dancers,

I've got a silk installation up in studio 100 (the studio right next to the guard's desk) in the Studio Center (Mica's Builing near the intersection of North Ave and Howard St in Baltimore).  It will be up this week (in it's final state Monday Oct 13th - down on Sunday October 19th) and I'd love for  all of you who can to stop by and see it sometime.  For those of you without card access to the Studio Center right now, just call me and let me know when you plan on coming and I'll try to let you in (assuming I'm not in class).  202-320-8749  I'm also going to do one, or possibly two short 5 minute belly dance performances in my installation at 8:30pm this Wednesday night.  I'd love it if some of you would wander over for that.  Also, any and all of you will any skill with still or video cameras, please, please, please help me document.  I can use all the help I can get in this respect.  I'm going to do my best, but photography isn't my strength.  Let me know specifically if you can document Wednesday night.  In an effort to keep the experience as pristine as possible, please remove your shoes before entering this space.

Also  I have a second installation going up in the Brown Center, in the Leidy Atrium above the stairs,  going up Monday Oct 13th.  Unfortunately this installation has to come down on Wednesday, so this Tuesday & Wednesday is your only chance to see it!   You don't need a card to get into the Brown Center, (which is that crazy glass building on Mt. Royal St in Baltimore), so you can wander by any time on Tuesday or Wednesday before my belly dance performance.  I'll take it down after my performance, late Wednesday night.  Again, any help you can give me documenting this piece  also, I will sooooooo appreciate.

Please forward this email on to other friends, artists, grads, teachers or just tell people, whomever you think might be interested.  Since these projects will only be up for a short duration,  and no documentation will really capture the experience, I'd like to get as many people in to see them as I possibly can while they are up.

Yours in Art,

Rebecca Habtour
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So I was assigned to write an editorial on recent news and I picked the economy. Basically I'm for more regulation, slightly less privatization. I'm sorry that I can't seem to get the damn live journal cut to work for me.

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